


is that news to you? (that i wanna call your name)

by rcsales



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Jiara January 2021, Kook!Kiara, Mike Carrera the pogue ally, friends to enemies (?) to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rcsales/pseuds/rcsales
Summary: It had been a distant thought for the past three years, but it was still there. Lately, Kiara was realizing she still felt the same way she used to: unable to control a smile when he was around. Her heart would still beat fast at the sound of his laugh; it was like she had never stopped hearing it.or: AU where Kiara is still a kook.
Relationships: JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51
Collections: Jiara January 2021





	is that news to you? (that i wanna call your name)

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the song "cool with you" by her's
> 
> my [tumblr](https://rcsales.tumblr.com/)

“Look, dad, I…” Kiara was getting tired of trying to argue with Mike about his stupid idea.

“I don’t want to hear it, Kiara. You’re working at The Wreck during the summer and that’s it.”

“ _Why are punishing me_?” She tried not to sound too whiny, but was unsuccessful.

“It’s not a punishment.” He didn’t look at her, his eyes on the road. “I just think you’ve been spending too much time with the Camerons ever since you changed schools. They came from money; you need to remember where _you_ came from.”

“Mom was born a kook.” Kiara’s voice was almost a whisper, she wasn’t sure she wanted to start _that_ conversation. Luckily, he didn’t hear her.

Kiara knew that story very well: her rich kook grandparents didn’t want their precious daughter Anna marrying a poor pogue boy, so they kicked her out when she got pregnant with Kiara. Her mom loved retelling that story over and over.

“You can’t ignore that side of you just because…”

“…We’re rich?”

“…Our situation is better now” he shot her an angry look. “It’s been years since you’ve been out with the boys.”

The boys. _Her boys_.

Kiara couldn’t even think about being seen with John B, Pope, and JJ nowadays. She had worked so hard to fit in at the Kook Academy, to befriend Sarah Cameron; hanging out with them again would mean throwing everything she worked for away, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss them.

JJ was the one she saw the most, ever since he started working at The Wreck. They didn’t talk, though; he often avoided even looking at her. She didn’t blame him: one day she was a pogue, and on the other, she had left their group chat and stopped answering their calls.

That was 3 years ago, when she started attending the kook academy, and quickly realized what type of life she had to live if she didn’t want to be seen as the “pogue girl with new money”. Kiara was desperate to fit in and to make friends, to make her mom proud; and she got all she wanted, losing her boys in the process.

Kiara’s real problem with working at the Wreck was actually having to interact with JJ, but she didn’t want Mike to know that, so she let him believe she was just being lazy and a brat. She hadn’t heard a single word from JJ in three years; didn’t know if his relationship with his dad had gotten better; if his mom had shown up at all…

When they arrived, she felt her stomach turn. She could hear JJ’s loud voice even before going in. Upon seeing Mike, all the employees collectively shut up. JJ had his back against the counter, and quickly took off his red hat; when he noticed Kiara, his eyes widened.

“Good morning, everyone.” Said Mike. “I think you all remember my daughter, Kiara. She’ll be joining us for the summer.” he turned to JJ. “JJ, since you and Kie know each other, I was thinking you could train her”

“Sure, boss.” JJ tried to hide his constipated face, playing with the red hat he was holding.

_Okay, damn. I didn’t know you hated me that much._

“Dad, I don’t think that’s…” Kiara tried, but Mike didn’t want to hear it.

“Put your hair up, honey. Let’s get to work.” Mike gave her a little tap on the shoulder as he left for his office.

Kiara stared at JJ waiting for him to say something. He was avoiding looking at her, as usual. His blonde hair a complete mess.

“You should fix your hair.”

He finally looked at her, confused. “Does it look bad?”

“It’s messy. It always is after you take your hat off.”

“Yeah, I… forgot that happens”. He quickly ran his right hand through it, and Kiara tried not to focus on the muscles on his biceps. “We should, hm… _I_ should show you the…” he started snapping his fingers; eyes closed; his leg moving frenetically.

“Woah, never seen you this speechless.” Kiara’s voice was playful, but that seemed to take JJ out of his search for the right word. He opened his eyes to look at her, his lips slightly pursed.

“You haven’t seen me in a long time.” His tone harsh.

JJ turned around and walked towards the kitchen, it took Kiara some seconds to realize he probably wanted her to follow.

JJ had stuck to teaching her; no small talk – or any talk of any kind. Now that the shift was over, they left and were standing near the outside tables; as she was waiting for her dad, he decided to open his mouth to say something other than _“pay attention”_ : “I think you should stay in the kitchen. You’re awful at waiting tables”. It was the first casual thing JJ said to her during the whole day.

“Woah… _stay in the kitchen_?” Kiara laughed, then pretended to be offended. “You know how sexist that is?”

JJ didn’t seem to find it funny. She remembered how we would always keep a joke going and going, but he wasn’t responding to any of her attempts to make light of the situation.

He put his hands in his pockets and gave her a piercing look. “You should stop forcing something that’s not there anymore. This small talk shit you’re pulling… like I would ever forget you ditched us”.

“I’m not trying to make you forget.” Kiara felt her heart in her throat. “I just think we should be at least polite with each other since we’re gonna be working together for the summer, don’t you?”

“Well, I’m sorry Ms. Carrera” JJ enunciated every word, she noticed the tension in his jaw. “But I’m not as good a bullshitter as you are. I see you hanging out with kooks, _that’s not you_. Or maybe you were faking it with _us_ … who knows.”

Kiara had never felt more _herself_ than when she was with her boys. She wanted to tell him that, but he probably wouldn’t believe her. Looking down at her feet, she heard Mike’s voice calling her. 

Kiara woke up that morning feeling like a weight was just lift off her shoulders. In arriving home last night, she called John B and Pope to make amends for what she had done. It was something she felt like should have done a long time ago, but her attitude towards it was “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it”. Now, the bridge was there.

John B forgave her quickly, inviting her to come to the chateau anytime she wanted if she felt like smoking with them. Pope was a little harder to convince, though; he felt like it was personal. She spent a lot of time explaining to him that it was her choice she had made, it had nothing to do with something he had done; eventually he believed her.

Then, it was JJ’s turn. She explained she had called Pope and John B to apologize, which surprised him, but she also felt like he let his guard down after that. That they talked on the phone for hours. “I was mad for their sake, not mine” he had said, “I was angry before because I knew that JB and Pope were hurting, and thinking they had done something to push you away. We were family, but I never felt like you owed me anything. I’m not entitled to your friendship; that’s your choice”

In arriving to work that day, JJ was already there. Kiara tried not to stare, she had to get used to seeing him every day without being surprised by how good he looked.

“You sweet-talked us, huh?” he had a grin this time, a very different demeanor from the day before.

“Oh… we’re on speaking terms now?”

“We talked for hours last night. Tired of my voice already?” he said, running his hand through his hair.

That shift ended on a much better note. Kiara and JJ were talking to each other casually, laughing and having a good time despite the circumstances. She wished she could say it was like they had never parted ways, but it was. JJ had to fill her in on a lot of stuff, but still avoiding any questions about his dad. He told her he was now living with John B and Big John at the chateau, which made her unbelievably happy. Kiara remembered what he had to go through with Luke, and during all the time they weren’t that close, all she could do was wish that he would get out of that situation; which was apparently happening after all.

By the end of the evening, they were the last ones still there. Kiara was waiting for Mike to finish off some things, and JJ was waiting for Pope and John B to pick him up.

“I don’t know… I was expecting you to still be at least a little bit mad”

“Why would I be mad? You have your issues, Kie. I’m not gonna pretend I understand, but I’m not gonna be an asshole about it.” JJ shrugged.

“So, I’m family again?”

“Oh, don’t push it.” He tried to hide a smile. “Right now, you’re the boss’s daughter; and a kook. I missed you, but...” he sounded sincere until he stopped abruptly, probably realizing he was opening up too much, then continued: “hm… _we all did_. So, if they’re happy and fine with it I’m not gonna be the one to rain on anybody’s parade.”

“Sounds like you were just playing tough the other day, then” Kiara said, crossing her arms.

“I wasn’t playing, Kie. I _am_ tough.” JJ clasped his hands together, trying for an intimidating expression. She couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey” Kiara’s voice came out quiet, almost inaudible.

“What?”

“I missed you too. Hm _… all three of you_.”

“Of course you did. How could you not?” JJ’s smile was warm and sincere, but, as always, he tried to mask it with cockiness. She knew his shtick. “Hanging out with Rafe Cameron is probably not as fun”

“I don’t hang out with him _that_ much. I’m just friends with his sister.”

“Well, he seems to hover over you like a vulture every time you’re together” his playful tone was changing to a bitter one.

“Careful or I’ll think you’re jealous” Kiara laughed at the thought. JJ hated Rafe, everybody knew that; it’s not like she had anything to do with it. It was basic pogue _versus_ kook bullshit, and Rafe wasn’t exactly the nicest kook around.

“Yeah, you’d think I would have grown out of my crush on you by now”

JJ wasn’t looking at her as he said it; he was focused on putting his rings back on, as if not realizing the gravity of his words. As if it was old news.

“Your _what_?” her shock was evident in her voice, which came out a little too loud. She instantly regretted it, this wasn’t a good time for Mike to get out of his office.

Looking up at her, raising an eyebrow, JJ asked: “You’re kidding, right?”

“ _You were into me_?” Kiara’s voice was almost a whisper.

“I thought it was obvious. I was hitting on you _constantly_ , Kie.” He shook his head, eyes opened wide.

“I just figured you were joking” she stepped closer to him.

“Well, then I shouldn’t have said anything.” He said, looking away from her.

“JJ, I didn’t know…”

“Would it had made any difference if you did?” JJ looked skeptical; it was almost a joke.

“Probably… _yes_ ”. Obviously, she had thought about JJ that way, _a lot_. It had been a distant thought for the past three years, but it was still there. Lately, Kiara was realizing she still felt the same way she used to: unable to control a smile when he was around. Her heart would still beat fast at the sound of his laugh; it was like she had never stopped hearing it. "I wish I had known”.

JJ took a while to respond. It was like he was replaying what she had said in his head, to make sure he understood it correctly.

“Well, we still have plenty of time” he smiled wide, getting closer. “If you want to try”

“I kinda do, yeah.” Her tone was unsure, but she didn’t back away.

“Kinda?” JJ smirked. He was so close she would hear his breath; the tips of his hair that were falling on his forehead.

Kiara rolled her eyes. “Just kiss me already.”

And he did. JJ didn’t touch her at first, he waited until she was kissing him back to do so. After she did, it didn’t take long for him to grab her hips, holding her up towards him. As Kiara reached up to tug on his hair, they heard a phone ring.

They quickly stopped, and JJ reached for his pocket, grabbing his.

“It’s Pope… Oh _shit_.” He looked up at Kiara “I forgot… no pogue-on-pogue macking”

“You said it yourself, J. _I’m not a pogue anymore_.” She pulled him for another kiss, and he gladly ignored Pope’s call.

They were interrupted again, though. This time, by the sound of the door opening. Kiara was the one to stop the kiss, moving away from JJ as fast she could. Looking the other way, she said: “Sorry, we’re clos..”

“Hey dude” JJ cut her off, clearly talking to the person that had opened the door.

Turning around, she saw it was Pope. As they did the pogue handshake, Kiara wondered if she still remembered how to do it.

“Hi Kie.” Pope put his hands in his pockets.

“What’s up?” Kiara tried not to sound breathy or nervous, praying he hadn’t seen the kiss.

“I came to get JJ, we’re playing soccer at the beach” turning to JJ, he continued: “We’ve been waiting for 10 minutes man, you wouldn’t answer our calls.” Pope gave JJ a hard tap on this shoulder.

“I was kinda busy, man”. JJ shot Kiara a suggestive look. _Oh no, Pope can’t know… no one can._

“I didn’t know you guys liked soccer”. Kiara said, desperate to change the subject. 

“It’s JJ’s recent obsession; he’s teaching us. I’m learning fast, John B’s way worse.”

“No one’s worse than you, Pope” JJ’s laugh filled the room.

“Would you like to come?” Pope asked.

Kiara fought her urge to say yes, immediately thinking _“what if Sarah’s kook friends show up there?_ ”; in no time all the academy would know about her pogue relapse.

_She couldn’t have that._

“Hm… I have something planned with Sarah.” She put a little bit of hair behind her ear. “Maybe another day.”

“She’s full kook.” JJ laughed, clearly making a throwback to what she had said during the kiss. “Let’s go, Pope. JB’s waiting.” He wicked at her before leaving with Pope. “ _Bye, Kie_.”

“Do you want me to drop you off at Sarah’s?” Mike asked about during the car ride home.

“Why?” Kiara took some seconds to remember the lie she had told the boys. “Hm… no, she just texted me canceling. How long did you listen to my conversation with JJ and Pope for?”. She panicked… _did he see us kissing? He couldn’t possibly, he would have said something._

“Oh, just the ending… I was very excited to hear Pope’s voice.” Mike gave her knee a little tap, not taking his eyes off the road. “I’m glad you’re talking to the boys again. I guess my plan’s working.”

 _It is. Too well, actually._ Kiara thought to herself, trying not to smile.

“Who would’ve thought. Mom’s gonna freak out.”

“She would rather you stayed in the Cameron bubble”

“What do you think she would say if you invited JJ to watch that soccer match that’s gonna air on Sunday with us?”

“With _us_?” he laughed. “Since when do you care about soccer, Kiara?”

“I don’t. But, you know… JJ would like it. I don’t think they have cable at the chateau. It would be nice.”

“Well, I don’t think your mom is not gonna like that at all.”

“I know, but I bet _you_ can convince her”. She poked his shoulder.

Mike took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll talk to her, but I can’t promise anything.”

It took a lot of convincing for Anna to give them her blessing, but Mike did it. As soon as she heard the end of their discussion, Kiara got her phone to text JJ. She didn't really know what it meant for her: an apology gift? Something to make up for three years she had been distant? An excuse to see him outside of work without the risk of any kooks seeing them? She was still deciding.

 **Kie [8:54 pm]:** dad’s inviting you to watch that real madrid match on sunday at our place

 **JJ [8:57 pm]:** haha nice joke

 **JJ [8:57 pm]:** if u wanted to text me bc u missed me you could’ve just sent “hi”

 **Kie [8:58 pm]:** i see you every day, why would I miss you

 **JJ [8:58 pm]:** bc im amazing and a great kisser, kookie

 **Kie [9:01 pm]:** kookie?

 **JJ [9:01 pm]:** yep, ur a kook and ur name is kie: kookie

 **JJ [9:01 pm]:** it sounds like cookie, im very smart

 **Kie [9:03 pm]:** okay I almost threw up

 **Kie [9:03 pm]:** if you ever call me that again I’ll castrate you

 **JJ [9:04 pm]:** that would be ur loss

 **Kie [9:07 pm]:** are you coming on Sunday or no

 **JJ [9:07 pm]:** wait ur serious?

 **Kie [9:08 pm]:** ofc I am

 **Kie [9:08 pm]:** dad told me to text you, dumbass

 **JJ [9:08 pm]:** are u sure he’s not doing that to fire me or smth?

 **Kie [9:10 pm]:** you have to show up to find out ig

 **JJ [9:10 pm]:** im terrified now but I’ll do it for real madrid

 **Kie [9:10 pm]:** ew you sound just like dad

 **JJ [9:11 pm]:** is that why u like me so much? that’s some freudian shit

 **JJ [9:14 pm]:** cmon electra complex

 **Kie [9:14 pm]:** you had to google that didn’t you

“You look great, Kie.” JJ was at the door, in a dark blue buttoned-up shirt with short sleeves and cargo shorts. She didn’t even really think about her choice of outfit, just a denim skirt, and a tank top, no makeup on; nothing special or fancy, very different from what she felt like she had to ear when hanging out with kooks.

“Thanks, you…”

“There he is! Come in, JJ.” Kiara heard her dad’s voice from behind her, approaching the door to great JJ with a handshake. “I was just telling Kiara what great of an idea it was inviting you.”

“Oh… it was _her idea_?”

“Yes! Although, if you weren’t a Real Madrid fan, I would have to rethink the invitation”.

“Absolutely, sir.” JJ laughed, as Mike sat down on the sofa. “thank God I have taste.” JJ continued while looking Kiara up and down as he walked in _._

Rolling her eyes, she gestured to a place on the sofa next to her, while she sat between the both of them. Making use of the fact that the sofa was large, she made sure to sit nearer to JJ, far from her dad.

Not 15 minutes had passed since the game started when Anna called Mike because of a problem in the kitchen, something leaking. “I’ll be back.” He said before leaving the room.

“Just so you know, it was Jung who came up with the Electra Complex, not Freud.”

“You’re deflecting” he turned, smiling at her.

“Oh, am I?”

“Yep. You wanted to see me but didn’t want to ask me on a date because you’re too proud. So you planted the idea to invite me on your dad, to make it look like you weren’t dying to see me, which you clearly were.”

“ _Shut up_ ”

“You know, we see each other almost every day… and you still miss me so much, you had to see me on our day off too. That’s very cute.” He smirked.

Kiara was trying to hold a laugh. She didn’t want him to know how much she enjoyed the fact he could still read her so well after three years apart. “I just wanted to do something nice for you. If you keep acting all smug I might regret it.”

“Yes ma’am” he smirked, turning his attention back to the game. As they watched it, he inched closer and closer to Kiara; finally resting his hand on her thigh.

“That’s bold, your boss could come back at any second”. She whispered, smirking, her eyes still on the TV.

“You seemed to like the adrenaline of it the other day, Kie.” JJ whispered back “We did this already”

“Yeah, but we weren’t _in my house_.” Kiara turns her head around to face him, there’s worry in his expression.

“Okay, sure. I’ll stop if you want.” Before JJ could take his hand from her thigh, she holds it there with her hand.

“it’s fine.” Her smile reassuring.

“Are you sure?” he asked, studying her carefully.

“ _Positive_.”

Kiara was the one who kissed him his time, her hands holding the sides of his face. JJ still had a hand on her thigh, and when the other one went to her hair, she slid hers down to his chest, tugging on his shirt. She could feel him smile between kisses, which made her heart skip a beat.

“You’re right, I did want to see you.” she whispered after a while.

“ _I knew it”_ his voice a little too loud. Lifting his head up, looking at and pointing to the sky, JJ continued: “This is your fault for making me so damn irresistible”

“Hm… I’m regretting it already” Kiara tried to hold back her laugh.

“ _Oh no,”_ he said, facing her again. “We can’t have that”

JJ switches the hand that was on her thigh so he can put his other arm around her on the sofa, making them practically attached to each other. She could feel his heart beating fast near her shoulder, and could hear his breathing close to her ear. His face inches away from hers, he leaned in to kiss her again. Kiara got one of the pillows, placing it on her lap, on top of his hand.

JJ seemed to understand what that meant, moving his hand up her thigh slowly; too slowly for her. Kiara knew that speed was a sort of question “is this okay?” or “do you want me to stop?”; her answer was clear, though: she spread her legs as wide as her denim skirt let her. Thanks to Kiara’s amazing idea of putting on a skirt, JJ quickly found her panties, and she congratulated herself.

“Oh, of course you’re wet already. I’m _that_ good” he said as he touched her through her cotton panties.

“You’re so full of yourself” she laughed, facing him. JJ was looking at her, biting his lip smugly.

“I don’t think I even need to lick my fingers” he said, his voice full of fake shock. “Unless you want me to… you know, _I heard it can be pretty hot_.” He started kissing her neck, his hand gripping her pussy harder, but the movements were still slow.

“I’m sure it is.” her voice came out weak and breathy. She grabbed his jaw, gently pushing him away from her. It pained her to do that, she very much enjoyed his mouth on her neck, but it had to be done. “You need to keep looking up and warn me if someone comes”. One of them had to be focused on guarding the door, paying attention to any sound that indicated that Mike was going back to the living room; and something told her what JJ was about to do would distract her too much.

“Yes, ma’am,” JJ whispered, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. Turning his attention back to the door, moving his head away from hers, he continued: “I like it when you boss me around.” 

He adjusted his cargo shorts with his free hand, then put his arm around her again; that’s when she realized he was hard. She had no idea how she didn’t notice it earlier; it wasn’t very easy to ignore.

“It looks like you like it a lot”

“Yep… I think we’ll need another pillow” JJ said in a playful tone, blushing a little. “If your dad sees me like this, I’ll kill myself.”

Kiara laughed, and did as he said, placing the pillow on JJ’s lap to hide his boner. There was nothing she wanted more than to replace his fingers with his dick, but that would be something for another time.

JJ’s hands didn’t stop. His movements were strong and more deliberate. When he finally pulls her panties to the side and starts touching her skin, she can’t help but whimper, closing her eyes. The contrast between the heat from his fingers and the cold from his rings was enough to make her shiver. When his thumb started circling her clit, she grabs the pillow, digging her nails in.

“I wish I could _see you_ ” he whispers more to himself than to her.

Kiara knew what he meant, and couldn’t help but laugh; opening her eyes, she looks at him, he wasn't laughing, though. His gaze is intense, like he was trying to figure out if that was really happening. She leaned in, giving him a light kiss; it was a weird contrast from what was happening underneath the pillow, she didn’t mean the kiss as anything more than a reassurance that she did want him to keep going.

After the kiss, they stayed with their foreheads touching, until she moved away, nodding towards the door with her head. That made him remember that he was on the lookout.

This time, his movements grew faster, with her having to bit her lip to prevent herself from making any noise. He pushed one finger in, starting an in and out motion, very slowly.

_“Shit”_

“I know, right?”

Kiara rolled her eyes, giving him the finger.

“Oh, does that mean you want one more?”. JJ took her silent smirk as a yes.

Now he had both his middle and his ring fingers inside her, using his thumb to circle her clit. The noises Kiara was making were an indication that she liked it, so that’s what he kept doing.

Kiara could feel it coming. Upon noticing she was on edge and agitated, JJ sped up his movements. She closed her eyes, breathing heavily, doing what she could to not make any loud sounds.

Suddenly, she didn’t feel the warmth of his hand on her anymore; _he had stopped_. The anticipation was excruciating. _“If he’s pulling some kind of orgasm denial shit…”_

Kiara opened her eyes to see JJ looking towards the door, in shock, blushing; holding the pillow down on his lap as tight as he could.

Turning around, she saw Mike, eyes glued to the TV, yelling “GOAL! _HOLY SHIT_ ”

It seemed like he had heard the announcer screaming “goal” and came running, and that’s when JJ stopped. She hadn’t heard anything, too entranced to even notice the noise from the TV. Kiara and immediately adjusted herself on the sofa.

“It was Modric, right?” her dad asked JJ.

“Yes, sir!” JJ had completely turned away from her now, trying to seem focused on the game, eyes glued to the TV. He grabbed Kiara’s knee and shook it lightly, his voice loud, so Mike could hear: “ _He’s a beast, Kie_ ”. 

“My man!”. Her dad sat down. He clearly had no idea what was happening before he got to the room. Kiara took a deep breath, relieved. 

“Mike, I still need help!” Anna’s voice echoed

“I’m not missing another goal, honey… When the game’s over, okay?”

Kie and JJ looked at each other. After a while, he whispered: _“I’m sorry, Kie”._

The next day, at the start of their shift, JJ approached her as soon as Mike was out of sight.

“You’ve been really weird through text” he said, running his hand through his hair “short answers and all”.

“No, I haven’t.” Kiara forced a laugh out of her, but it sounded fake.

“Listen, Kie, _I know you_.” he was growing impatient by the second. “is it because your dad showed up?"

“No, I…”

He kept talking as if he didn’t hear her “Because if it is, I’m gonna make it up to you ‘kay? Just say the word and I’ll finish what I started”

“That’s not why I’m acting weird” Kiara raised her voice a bit, she remembered JJ tended to keep going on tangents when he was anxious.

“Oh, so you admit you’re acting weird” JJ raised an eyebrow, calming down a little. 

“JJ...”

“Do you regret it?”

“No! It’s just… don’t you think it’s a little bit weird that as soon as we get close again after all these years, we start hooking up out of nowhere?”

“It’s not ‘out of nowhere’, Kie. We’ve talked about this” he said, stepping closer to her.

“ _I know._ It’s just… _happening really fast_. It’s kinda overwhelming.”

That wasn’t _really_ it, though. She had a conversation with her mother about JJ as soon as he left their house on Sunday. _“No one from the Island Club is going to take me seriously anymore if you start hanging out with him again, Kiara”_ , she had said _. “You’re going to make us lose everything we fought for”._

Kiara wished her mother didn’t have that power over her decisions and actions, but she did feel guilty. And there was nothing she could do about it.

“We can start over. I could take on a real date. A picnic at the beach or something” JJ said, touching her arm lightly.

“ _No._ Hm… Maybe we should stay like this, you know? Keeping it a secret.

“Oh…” his expression changed. Kiara didn’t see hurt in his face, he just looked like he had an epiphany. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

Kiara didn’t know how to respond or how to act. She wanted to hug JJ, reassure him she wasn’t afraid of being seen with him, _but she was._ She just didn’t want to disappoint Anna.

“J… I’m sorry”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Kie. _I get it_.” JJ tried for a reassuring smile. “I’m happy to be with you any way you want me”

A week passed, Kiara and JJ kept talking every day normally, like nothing had happened. The discovery of Kiara’s desire to keep their relationship a secret didn’t change JJ’s attitude towards her, which made her even more guilty. She knew of his insecurities, that people looked at him differently because of his father; she figured he wasn’t offended, that he just thought it was the best for her. It hurt thinking about how low he thought of himself.

The first opportunity she had – when Anna was out of the house - Kiara figured it was the best time to talk to her dad. She found him in the kitchen, looking up recipes on his phone.

“Mom seemed really bothered by JJ last Sunday. She said I’m gonna make her lose everything she fought for.”

“She didn’t mean that…” Mike looked up from his phone.

“Yes she did, dad.” She said, sitting by his side. “You know she did”

“Well, she’ll get over it. Anna can’t keep you looked up in a kook dungeon forever”

“She’s disappointed. After all the work it took for me to fit in with Sarah’s friends, and for her to be reaccepted in the kook cult.”

“Kiara, I know you love your mom and you want her to be proud. But you don’t need to let her live vicariously through you”

“She stopped being a kook because of _me_ , dad. She spent her whole life trying to be one again. It’s the least I can do, don’t you think?”

“Her parents kicking her out of the house was not your fault. We loved each other and wanted to be together, even if we didn’t get pregnant with you at that time we would have eventually, we had plans to get married… her parents already didn’t like me. And even if you were an actual accident, it still wouldn’t be your fault. You shouldn’t think you need to make it up to her”

“Well, she definitely makes me feel like I should”

“I love your mom very much, but she’s… a difficult person. You don’t need to believe _everything_ she says, Kiara.”

“If she was ready to marry a pogue even before she got pregnant, then why did she hate the fact that I hang out with the boys? It seems…”

“Hypocritical?”

“You said it, not me”

Mike laughed. “She just doesn’t want you to have to go through everything she had to. In her own twisted way, she wants the best for you. What _she thinks_ it’s the best for you, at least. Now if you’re asking me what _I_ think it’s best for you…”

_“Well, I’m not...”_

"...it’s whatever your heart desires.” His smile and tone reminded her of nights he told her bedtime stories before she went to sleep. “it’s not up to your mom to decide.” He smiled. “It’s up to you.”

**Kie [10:28 pm]:** hey

 **Kie [10:28 pm]:** doing smth tonight?

 **JJ [10:31 pm]:** u, I hope

 **Kie [10:31 pm]:** dude im serious can I pick you up?

 **JJ [10:31 pm]:** sure

“Where are you taking me?” JJ adjusted himself in the passenger’s seat.

“JJ, it’s the fiftieth time you ask me that. I’m not telling you, it’s a surprise.”

“I’m just making sure you’re not taking me to the woods to tell me you’re a vampire or something. That would be a deal-breaker.”

“What about a werewolf?”

“I could work with that.” He laughed. “a Twilight thing? You with your shirt off most of the time? I’m down.”

“Those aren’t even real werewolves.”

“ _Excuse me?_ Stop the car right now, Kiara. _How dare you_ ” he turned to her, which made a little bit of his hair fall on his forehead, Kiara's heart skipped a beat.

“We’re getting close to our destination… are you sure?”

“Hm… nope. Curiosity wins.”

“That’s what I thought”

It took 5 more minutes for them to get there. As they got closer JJ sat straight up, leaning his head forward, trying to get a better look. “That’s… Ward Cameron’s house.”

“Yep. Sarah’s throwing a party.”

They got out of the car and stood still, staring at the mansion. Kiara looked at the confused expression on JJ’s face and said: “We can leave if you want, we don’t need to go in”.

He shook his head no and said “No, I’m fine.” Looking at her, he continued: “Are _you_ sure about this, Kie? All of your kook friends will be there.”

She was sure. She didn’t care that JJ didn’t have an expensive polo shirt on. She didn’t care that his last name carried a bad reputation; that he struggled to make a living; or that he was a pogue. _She was one too._

Kiara didn’t have the strength to lie anymore. Not to him, or to herself. “ _I_ am. Are you?”

She smiled reassuringly, taking a deep breath and offering her hand so he could hold it if he wanted. JJ looked at her for a while, studying her face. His expression was soft, she could see he wasn’t hesitant. Maybe he wanted to make the moment last longer so he could remember it, at least that’s what she hoped for; it felt like an eternity.

JJ gestured with his head towards the entrance as if to say “ _c’mon_ ”. Finally taking her hand, he said with a smile: “I’ve always been sure”.

**Author's Note:**

> the fact that rudy loves and plays soccer lives in my head rent free, so I had to write JJ being a fan of soccer too. _I just had to._
> 
> thanks for reading! <3


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